Hey God,
It’s me again. Thanks for always being a good God. I know we talked a little bit this morning, but it hasn’t been enough to make this go away. So I thought I’d slow down my mind a bit and type out a prayer to you.
I’ve been overthinking. A ton. And nothing seems to soothe it.
Remember that man you sent me? Well, we’ve been fighting. And we aren’t talking at the moment. I’m guessing we will after the holiday fun, but dang he’s good at sticking to not talking. I’m a little anxious if You can’t tell. I gave in to messaging him, and didn’t exactly get the response I wanted. So my mind is wrapped up in itself now. It’s fueling my insecurities and painting elaborate stories and conversations in my mind. Moments where he rejects me, says we’re done, or walks away, and every painful response I can think of. Thoughts of him talking to another woman, even though I don’t believe he is. The enemy is certainly trying to ruin my peace. It’s not a healthy thing. I’m trying to fight it, but I have way too much time on my hands right now. Being around family isn’t a good enough distraction. It actually makes me struggle more because I look at the smiles of everyone around me and miss his.
I need your peace. I need your rest. I need your discernment. Please help me.
I don’t want my own fears to push him further away. It’s not who I am. It’s not who I want to be. I don’t want to be insecure. I don’t want to assume. I don’t want to destroy this gift You’ve given me.
Please give me patience to focus on You.
My grandma once told me a story about getting through hard times. She said You had told her, “Don’t focus on that, focus on me. Don’t look at that, look at me.”
I guess I’ve finally adopted my grandma’s advice. I’m going to try to do that. To take this time and truly focus on you instead of the struggles that are in front of me.
My grandma always says, when you’re struggling with pain, or lies from the enemy, or any thing at all, give it to God. Even if it’s every five minutes. Just pause and say, “God, I give this to you. And release it. Don’t accept the lies of the enemy. Don’t receive the pain. Give it all to God and find your rest.”
Give me rest, God.
Amen.
I'm just a woman. 